Selecting A Vice President

Here's a solution for selecting the Vice President of the USA that will (hopefully) prevent another turd-burger like Dick "Dr. Strangelove" Cheney from taking office.
First, get rid of the Electoral College and go to electing using the popular vote.
In the Presidential election, the person with the second highest vote total becomes Veep.
In addition to being the president of the Senate, he/she should have, as a Senator-At-Large, full Senatorial priveleges, such as voting on all bills, introducing bills, sitting on committees, molesting pages and swimming in the tidal pool with hookers whilst inebriated.
Such a Constitutional amendment would give a large percentage of the population (the 48% or so that didn't vote for the winner) a greater voice in the Senate.

Black Congressmen Racist

Freshman Rep. Stephen Cohen, D-Tenn., was refused admission to the Congressional Black Caucus because he is white. All 43 members of the caucus are black.
Cohen said in a statement that he told a reporter that he would be honored to join the caucus but did not apply, "nor has the CBC denied membership to me."
However, the group would not have permitted Cohen to join, its new chairwoman told The Associated Press. Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, D-Mich., said the caucus decided early on that official membership would be restricted to blacks.

Why is there even such a racist institution?
Can you imagine the outcry if there was a Congressional White Caucus?
Once again minorities seek to deny to the majority the rights that they claim for themselves.
Just goes to show the worst racists and bigots are not just white but come in all colors.

Bean songs from my childhood

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel:
So eat your beans with every meal

Likewise and similarly:

Beans, beans, good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the better you feel
So eat your beans at every meal

Hillary For President

Six years ago, if you'd have asked me if I would vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton for President, I might have suspected you of having undiagnosed brain damage.
Well, in the last six years Hillary has done a great job representing the State Of New York in the Senate.
Yeah, she dropped the ball when she voted in favor of the Iraq war but she has since atoned for that.
But Hillary is dead right when it comes to domestic policy: housing, health care for the middle-class and poor alike, not to mention a variety of other domestic social issues.
Furthermore, she will probably inherit Bush's Iraq quagmire and I believe she can get us out of that mess ASAP.
I really believe Hillary would make an excellent President, especially since she will presumably have Bill around to give her advice from his experience.
I just hope she picks the right running mate (not Obama - too inexperienced and polarizing) but some centrist Democrat who has a respectable record in Congress or as a Governor.

Heterophobia on LOGO TV

Ever watch a gay stand-up comic?
I watched a very butch lesbian the other night on Logo (the gay cable network).
Not that I found her particularly humorous.
Everything is gay this, gay that, gay, gay, gay.
Oy gevalt! We get it, you're gay!
Do you spend every nanoscond of your life doing gay things?
Now it bothers me not one iota when a gay comic wants to pander to his/her gay audience but why, oh why do they have to make "jokes" deriding heterosexuals?
Furthermore, why do heterophobic jokes cause screams of laughter in the audience?
Where is the "sensitivity" thay they demand for themselves?
What's good for the goose...

M*A*S*H

Am I the only one who thinks this show stayed at the party about 9 years too long?
The descent began when Henry Blake left, followed by Trapper who was replaced by that stool sample with a moustache, BJ Hunnicutt.
Big jump when Frank Burns left and was replaced by the insufferable Major Winchester.
The "Hot Lips" became "Margaret" and got that Regular Army stick out of her shapely butt.
Of course, that little twerp Radar was always annoying. Gee, I just wanted to bitch slap him every time he was on-screen.
Huge jump when Klinger stopped wearing dresses and became GI Joe.
The worst thing that happened to the show was Alan "I'm A Pompous Douchebag" Alda taking over as writer/producer/director. The show ceased to become humorous and became Alda's personal soapbox for his anti-war diatribes. Not that I wasn't against the war but I turn on a so-called "comedy" to be entertained, not lectured. Not to mention the fact that the Viet Nam war was already over for about 6 years by the time M*A*S*H ended its run.
Oh yeah, that father Mulcahey was an annoying jerk too!

I have a hemorrhoid named Dubya

Oy gevalt!
I woke up this morning and my ass was BURNING!
Another fucking hemorrhoid!
I decided to name this one "Dubya" since not only is it a big pain in the ass but it's totally useless! Now it wants to invade Iraq!
Quick, I need a 'rhoid rod!